The comment was, "You look tired." My less-than-gracious response was, "How does that help anything?"
My poll asked:
HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN SOMEONE (A FRIEND, A LOVED ONE, A PARTNER, PERHAPS) SAYS TO YOU, “YOU LOOK TIRED”?
And here are the results:
Suzanne: Depends on my mood and why I am tired - if something unpleasant is going on in my life and this person is concerned, then I am okay. Other than that they should just keep their mouth shut
Connie: My first response would be, "Thanks a
lot" and then I would wonder why someone felt the need to tell me how bad
I look.
Marcie G.: I feel
like I should BE tired---or sick….especially if I am NOT tired!!!!If I am
tired, I am disappointed that it shows! I hate to hear
that!!!!
Denise B.: I feel
like I must have bags and dark circles under my eyes and would rather not have
it pointed out to me, thank you.
Judith: I am
immediately alerted to the fact that whoever really thinks I look like shit, but is trying
to be polite. It usually irritates me.
Laurie S.: Well,
since I am tired, I just say so. Doesn't bother me.
Charlene: Most likely I do
Allison:
"Usually they're right: I am tired." (My note:
this woman hikes, climbs, and cycles all over the Pacific Northwest outdoors;
she’s probably usually tired!)
Gary: "I try
to pay attention because they're probably right."
Joal: I
would wish I didn't look tired & that it wasn't so noticeable, but would
think the person was concerned about me to mention it.
Roberta: I guess it would depend upon
how I was feeling at the time. If I was actually feeling tired, and if it was
followed by a statement like, "Can I take care of something(s) for you so
you can rest?" - I might take it as a kindness or thoughtful gesture. Otherwise...
Lois: It
means you don't look good, which could be because you do look tired or just
don't look involved, or…
Katherine: When someone tells me I look tired I guess I
think they're probably right. Then again it's just their opinion or it's time
for some lipstick.
Rhonda: I just read somewhere you shouldn't tell someone they look
tired; by doing so, you are more or less criticizing their appearance; however,
I have made that remark to friends on occasion out of concern.
Krista: Not my favorite, especially when you put some time into your
appearance that day. Serious let down
Bonnie M.: “Am I looking tired…or old?” J
Bonnie W.: I
don't feel bad when someone says that. I think people say it because they care.
Bonnie B.: That I look tired, maybe a little haggard,
dark circles under the eyes.
Honestly, in the overall scheme of things, this is a minor issue, but it brought up some male-female differences I found interesting. Are we fragile creatures who need not to have our flaws commented upon? Or are the folks making the comments clueless? Are those not bothered by such a comment really just more secure than those of us that got pissed off?
What do you think?
(Then we'll move on to something a little heavier, maybe)
The fact that someone would say that to me confirms either they are concerned for my well being or that their mouth truly moves faster than their brain. Polls sound like a good way to start a blog. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteIf someone says it to me, it does tick me off! Yet, every morning, I look in the mirror, and say, 'you look tired'! I make a face, like the cranky old lady I have become, and laugh...
ReplyDelete